How to manage your emotions in meetings | A powerful tool for you

  • The tears are ready to come, and it is soooo NOT the time to cry.
  • A sarcastic comment slips out, and we didn’t mean it.
  • We bite someone’s head off and then regret it.
  • Our voice quivers, telling the world how nervous we are.
  • That swear word just tumbled out when it shouldn’t have!
  • If she hadn’t said that, then I wouldn’t feel this.
  • If we weren’t so stretched, then I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.
  • If it weren’t for the economy, the weather, the crappy office space, then…I wouldn’t be…
  • PAUSE — Stop what you are doing
  • PONDER — Tune into what’s going on inside of you and reflect on why it’s happening
  • PIVOT — Shift how you see things and how you are experiencing the situation, thus taking back control
  • PROCEED — Move back into action.

🛠 The Tool: The Inner Guidance Cycle in Action

  • Is your heart racing?
  • Did your face turn red?
  • Is your stomach in knots?
  • Are you clenching your fists?
  • Are you feeling that tension headache coming on?
  • Was it that the boss gave you this project or how they gave it to you?
  • Was it the timing?
  • Did it bother you because it’s really someone else’s responsibility?
  • Are you anxious because you don’t know how to do it?
  • Has that triggered a feeling of incompetence?
  • Did you feel like they were trying to take over?
  • Do you suddenly feel put on the spot and unprepared?
  • Are you feeling incompetent because you don’t know the answer?
  • Does the question, and the look, seem to suggest that you don’t have the team’s support?
  • I’m too young/old
  • I am not smart enough
  • I’m not the right color/gender
  • I don’t have the right experience
  • I haven’t been here as long as them
  • Criticism
  • Being excluded
  • Being disrespected
  • Being misunderstood
  • Not feeling like you belong
  • Sloppiness / untidy / laziness
  • When people don’t take accountability for their actions
  • When you are disregarded/overlooked/invisible
  • Do you have to do it all?
  • Do you have to do it in the way it was asked?
  • Can you ask for help?
  • Can you do a portion now and some later?
  • Is there an easier way to get the result that you could suggest back?
  • What would really happen if you said no?
  • What is the worst-case scenario?
  • What parts could you say no to?
  • Do you really need to know the answer?
  • Does the answer need to be right now?
  • We both want to enjoy our job and work in a place we like.



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Kathy Archer

Kathy Archer


Helping women leaders make it in the nonprofit world. Leadership Development Coach * Best-Selling Author * Wife * Mom * Grandma * Mom to one boxer named Zeus!